In the Know column: 23 tidbits about 2023

By Tim Urness, Alexandria, MN

After last year’s extremely successful listing of “22 random Tim Urness Facts in 2022” I dug a little deeper into my soul and found 23 more tidbits for the year 2023. Paparazzi and social media outlets have been going wild with all of the fun facts I shared last year. So, to give back in a special way to all six people that read my columns, here you go. You’re welcome!

1- Soup is not a meal.

2- I am allergic to latex. Want me to leave your party or event quickly? Just bring out the latex balloons and watch me start to hyperventilate and get a rash all over.

3- The first bite of anything with powdered sugar makes me cough.

4- I normally do NOT consider the environment when printing emails.

5- I love bananas two days before you need to throw them away and never a day sooner. Green and yellow — yuck! Brown and bruised — amazing!

6- One of my least favorite things to do is watch movies. Apparently, you need to “sit still and be quiet” for the entire thing. No thank you.

7- Anyone else ever unload the dishwasher thinking it was CLEAN…. And then you realize it was DIRTY? Asking for a friend.

8- I still don’t understand the difference between a winter weather warning compared to a winter weather watch?

9- Flossing my teeth happens two times a year, and you can probably guess the two times it happens. (Sorry Dean Anderson I have been lying to you all these years.)

10- The knuckles on my hands have been cracked since I was a tiny tot — and look at me now Aunt Molly. Still no arthritis like you guaranteed.

11- My first attempt at getting my drivers license was a failure, stupid parallel parking flags got in my way.

12- I like to randomly find texts on my phone that are 8-12 months old and then hit “haha” or “thumbs up.” It really confuses the original text writer.

13- Once I figure out which one of my three kids or possibly my wife keeps stealing my open hangers in the closet, they will be asked to leave the family.

14- To this day I am still not sure why God allowed side by side fridge/freezers.

15- Please don’t ask me “what type of tree is that?” If it’s not a Christmas tree I have no clue.

16- I refuse to make a bed with my wife. Either she makes it, or I make it. For some reason our team “pulling the covers up together “ project always ends in an argument.

17- I will choose my own password please. The one the website suggests will never be remembered. (12345ithinkiamfunny6789)

18- When I wear my baseball cap I always wear it backwards. (And my Grandpa Ray is still shaking his head at me in disgust from his grave.)

19- Ever had the urge at other people’s homes to crank their toaster setting all the way to black while you are visiting? OK, me neither then I guess.

20- I consider myself well educated but according to my wife I have “no clue how to properly load the dishwasher.”

21- In my opinion, saving seats at church should be punishable up to seven years in prison. When I run for some form of office this will be one of my first campaign commitments to the local folk.

22- In my 45 years of life, I have never once had coffee, Dr. Pepper or a Flintstones Vitamin.

23- I love writing these columns! Been five years already and when I began I was challenged to write about community involvement, people giving back, light-hearted fun. I hope you have enjoyed reading these columns as much as I have enjoyed putting them onto paper.

Tim Urness is actively involved in service groups in the Alexandria area. “In the Know” is a rotating column written by community leaders from the Douglas County area.