For all that voters seems to love, adore, admire and even worship President Trump, you rarely hear them say what, exactly, he has done that they love, adore, admire or worship. They mostly seem to revel in watching him float around a glorious cloud, being Trump, and snarl at those who don’t find the glorious Trump cloud particularly invigorating.
I’m not a Trump supporter, but I have learned a lot from President Trump over the two-plus years he has been in office. He is a one-of-a-kind president who sticks to his guns, who doesn’t care what people think of him, who doubles down in the face of criticism.
Here are my 10 take-aways from his presidency:
No. 1. Never, ever admit you were wrong. Admitting error is a sign of weakness that will bring the sharks. So, I wore dark blue underwear with white pants? That was my plan! I am setting a trend. I bet you’re still wearing white undies with your white pants. Loser.
No. 2. Blame things that start with “M.” The migrants, the media, the Muslims, the Mueller report. Every time something goes wrong at home, I’m going to blame… mooers! “Mom, why didn’t you wash my red shirt?” “Our cows hate you, Sammy. They hate America. They want us to fail.” Hmm. My husband’s name is Miles. Hmm. Watch out, Melania.
No. 3. Pander to white evangelicals. Show up in church every now and then, squinch your eyes shut real tight like you’re taking everything very seriously. Let the pastor lay his hands on you. Evangelicals eat that stuff up. It’ll buy you an election. Or two. Or three or four.
No. 4. Concoct imaginary supporters. Dear, everyone thinks we should get riding horses. Many, many people have said so. I get the phone calls, believe me.
No. 5. Call people names. Would that fly at work?
No. 6. Get revenge. When I was little, and wanting to retaliate against a bully, my Mom admonished, “‘Vengeance is mine,’ saith the Lord.” Trump has taught me that thinking is old-fashioned. Cross me, and watch your back!
No. 7. Exaggerate. I am absolutely the best news journalist in history. So what if the failing Pulitzer Prize Board hasn’t acknowledged it? They’re on the way out anyway. Everybody knows it.
No. 8. Lie. Douglas County is the only county in the nation — maybe even the world — that doesn’t provide weekly free chair massages to journalists. Wake up, Douglas County! You're falling behind.
No. 9. Make friends with the marginalized. They will be your allies for life, grateful for any crumbs you fling them. I’m not talking about the poor, the sick, widows or orphans. I’m talking neo-Nazis, white supremacists and other “very fine people,” who have been largely simmering in silence the past 50 years.
No. 10. Do a few good things supporters can point to, like donating your salary to a cause. Of course it helps if your net worth is $3 billion.
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“It’s Our Turn” is a weekly column that rotates among members of the Echo Press editorial staff.