I'm Just Sayin' - Robotic squirrels, Martian pizza and Moroccan pottery

Talk about it

What do robotic squirrels, Martian pizza and Moroccan pottery have in common? They are all part of a revealing yearly report out of Washington, D.C. by Senator Tom Coburn. In this report, silly and ridiculous government waste is detailed to the tune of $19 billion (Waste Book 2012, Senator Tom Coburn M.D., 2012). It is available online by doing a search under that name. But, a word of warning that it is 202 pages long!

Dr. Coburn (senator from Oklahoma) goes into great detail about the wasteful and petty things our government does. The items he describes come to a total of $19 billion. Some may say that is a small part of the budget. I would say that it is indicative of a government gone crazy about how they can spend our tax dollars.

Here are some examples:

 $325,000 was spent to develop a robotic squirrel that would allow scientists to test interaction between a squirrel and a rattlesnake. The squirrel would be robotically sent near a rattlesnake and observations made. Here’s a free observation: A rattlesnake will always try to eat a squirrel that it can kill!

 NASA spent $1 million to develop a “Mars menu” that could be used when humans inhabit the planet Mars. It included pizza. Here’s a cheaper idea: Take some sandwiches!

 The U.S. Agency for International Development spent $27 million to train Moroccans to make pottery and sell it around the world. I can understand why we would want to encourage Moroccans to become self- sufficient; but, $27 million to train them on pottery making! C’mon, man! And here’s the kicker: The translator used to teach them how to make pottery could not speak English, and the materials used to make the pottery in the classes was not available in Morocco. Jeez! Can it get any more ridiculous than this? Well, yes it can.

 $516,000 was spent on a video game that simulates the social experience of attending a prom. $31,000 was spent for Smokey Bear balloons to make appearances at balloon festivals, another $300,000 to promote domestically produced caviar, and $268 million spent on a loophole for paper manufacturers that allows them to claim a waste byproduct as an alternative energy source.

I could go on and on, but you get the point and can do your own reading of the report if you wish. What has happened to government in this country (federal, state, and local) when we allow things like this to happen? It’s our money. We pay for this stuff with our taxes! And on that note, maybe we will see new taxes to pay for the things our politicians can dream up. New taxes won’t be the run-of-the-mill income and real estate taxes, but some taxes like:

 Anyone wearing their baseball cap backwards will be fined $25. (Maybe this is a good idea. I see so much of that. It might just cover the deficit.)

 If you are left-handed and do not teach yourself to be right-handed, you will be taxed an additional $100 per year until you comply.

 Anyone who does not memorize three Sinatra songs per year will be taxed an additional $500.

By now you have discerned that the above-noted tax ideas are full of cynicism (as well as that I love Sinatra), but they are no crazier than some of the ways our government spends our hard-earned tax dollars. I’m just sayin’.

  

“Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”

– Ronald Reagan

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DuWayne Paul of Alexandria is a regular contributing columnist for the Echo Press.

Tags: opinion, columns