Column - Cain could cause Obama sleepless nights

Talk about it

Herman Cain said that if he becomes president, he will bring "humor" to the White House.

Yes, I believe he would.

Every time I hear Cain's voice coming from the living-room TV, I drop what I'm doing and rush into the room to watch him and listen to him.

No, don't worry, dear friends, I'm not morphing into a Republican. However, here, in the person of Herman Cain, is a right-wing Republican I actually like, believe it or not. Now, mind you, I don't agree with hardly a thing he says; I would never vote for him. And yet I think he is that rarest of rare beings – a candidate who speaks his mind whether you like it or not.

Unlike presidential-contending flip-floppers (Perry, Romney) and unlike fading meteors (Gingrich, Bachmann), Cain is refreshingly direct and honest. He is not a hypocrite, not a waffler, not a sycophant. What's more, he doesn't claim to have a direct line to God. He's a Christian, but God didn't tell him to run for office.

Cain stands on his own two feet and doesn't take all his cues from campaign managers. In that uniquely pleasant, relaxing, resonant voice of his, he says exactly what he thinks and what he means. He even has the courage to let himself be interviewed by left-wingers and then holds his own nicely in a rather hostile setting, bouncing back as a person of conviction and integrity.

Political pundits are pooh-poohing Cain because he lacks political experience. He was, they say, "only" the CEO of the Godfather's Pizza chain. That fact – that he hasn't spent his life in the three-ring circus called "Politics" – is probably why so many people, including me, like Cain.

Finally, here is a candidate who doesn't resemble a stuttering Howdy Doody puppet, a candidate who doesn't use the trite rhetorical flourishes, a candidate with a backbone who doesn't kowtow to "experts" or polling results. Cain is, in a word, unflappable.

In those candidate debates, Cain delivers his answers with self-possessed assurance, often mixed with wit and humor. He is not self-defensive; he is not on-guard; he is not self-censoring his mind as he talks, as so many politicians do. With Cain, what you see and hear, is what you get. Candidate Ron Paul, too, has always possessed many of those same qualities.

How I wish Cain would morph into a Democrat. Alas, he is a Republican and so wrong so often. He makes such far-out claims, such as that Afro-Americans were "brainwashed" to side with the Democratic Party; that this 9-9-9 tax would be good for everyone; and that there are no socio-economic barriers to making a living in this nation.

But who can resist his off-the-wall humor? The old videotape of Cain singing a "pizza-theme" version of John Lennon's "Imagine" is so weird as to be unbelievable. His TV ad with the man taking a puff from his cigarette causes me to do double-takes and chuckle every time. And the TV ad with the Old West varmint holding the yellow-flower bouquet and the black man who is a card-carrying liberal is so far out, so cheesy and so unfathomable that I double over with laughter every time I see it. It's got to be the goofiest commercial of all time.

Still, despite all that, Cain is so ... so ... well, there's only one word for it: likeable, downright likeable. It's refreshing to hear and see a candidate who is not a pre-programmed scarecrow stuffed with talking points, poll results and wiffle-waffle-windy pronouncements. Deep in his heart, Cain probably knows he won't be the chosen one, which is why he can politically afford to say what he darned well pleases. And his humor, not to forget, is utterly unique – just completely off the wall.

Wouldn't it be grand if Cain could be the official Republican presidential candidate? He is so entertaining, so up-front and such a rare breed, he could cause Obama some sleepless nights.

Tags: opinion, columns