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I'm Just Sayin' - Thoughts about rednecks and idiots

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columns Alexandria, 56308
Echo Press
(320) 763-3258 customer support
Alexandria Minnesota 225 7th Ave E
P.O. Box 549
56308

Jeff Foxworthy is the most successful comedian of our time. The famous "hook line" from his monologues always ends with "If ... you might be a redneck." One of my favorites is "If you've used Cool Whip bowls for salad bowls, you might be a redneck." (Guilty!) It is my personal opinion that if our country was run by rednecks, we might be a whole lot better off. At least some common sense would enter into the decision making. So, what if we turned the redneck line into "you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots?" Let's see how that would sound (from Internet postings).

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If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor or check out a library book, but not to vote on who runs the government, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than 10 rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If in New York City, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If an 80-year-old woman can be strip-searched by the Transportation Security Administration but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If a 7-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher's "cute," but that same school could host a sexual exploration and diversity class in elementary classrooms, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing and free cell phones, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If the government's plan for getting people back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of unemployment checks and no requirement to prove they applied for work but can't find work, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more "safe," according to the government, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

• • •

"There's an intelligent redneck in all of us somewhere." - Rodney Atkins

• • •

DuWayne Paul of Alexandria is a regular contributing columnist for the Echo Press.

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